


Asteria

by joltik



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Spoilers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joltik/pseuds/joltik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's pain in remembering, but she won't let herself forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Asteria

She shouldn't think about him anymore. It's already been nearly a year since his death, after all. The world has settled into peace,  _and isn't it all because of his sacrifice?_

And she hadn't realized, before, how forgetful humans are, how shortsighted. Only a year since the war, and already the people have become accustomed to peace, have begun to expect it...they've forgotten what it is to struggle, to fight, to not know if they'd live to see tomorrow. In a way, it disgusts her, but isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Isn't that what we fought for, what so many died for?

There is one thing, however, that they won't forget, and of course it all comes back to Lelouch – doesn't it always? Because for all the people have forgotten about fear, they still speak his name in hushed tones, as if he were listening to their every word, as if he were some twisted bogeyman lurking in the dark beneath their beds rather than a deeply flawed, beautiful man. "Lelouch the demon," they say. "The tyrant king." And it pains her that they remember, because it forces her to remember.

But she remembers no bogeyman. She remembers  _him_. It's the little things, you know, the ones she didn't even realize she noticed until he was gone. The scent of his cologne – something classy (though she couldn't really place what) and subtle. The way his cape swept behind him when the wind hit it just right, the way the Zero mask glinted under the sun...how regal it all made him look. The sweep of his hand, the way he smiled, the sound of his voice, his beautiful, beautiful eyes – all of it. The little things he did, actions that used to annoy her, long ago; those too. But worst of all...

Worst of all is what might have been. The feel of their hands almost touching. The sound of his voice almost telling her what she wanted to hear, his heart almost beating next to hers. Looking in his eyes and almost seeing...what?

It doesn't matter anymore, does it?

But it seems that everywhere she goes, there's something that reminds her, and the more time passes, the more she remembers, until there is nowhere she can go to escape from the little details that remind her of him. She wants to scream, cry, get away, anywhere but here. Get out of Japan, even though...wasn't that what she'd been fighting for in the first place? Before him. Before everything.

And that would be running away. He wouldn't want that. He'd want her to be strong.

So she holds her head high.  _I won't forget._

On his grave, she places a single purple flower, the color of his eyes, shaped like a star. An aster.

And she smiles and makes a promise to herself, to him.

"I will try to live on for you, too."

**Author's Note:**

> Probably going to be reposting some fics from my oldass fanfiction.net account, maybe with some minor edits. Not most of them, but I liked this one. And I've been feeling nostalgic for some of my old fandoms/OTPs, so why not.
> 
> Found asters on a flower symbolism site that said they were "laid on the graves of French soldiers to symbolize the wish that things had turned out differently," and the last line is from an old translation that was floating around of Kallen's R2 character song, "One More Chance."


End file.
